Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Daycare - Day 4

I'm really trying to stay positive about daycare, but it's not easy. I know that Michael will need an adjustment period, and that I need to give him more time, but it's just so hard. When I picked him up yesterday his teacher told me that she doesn't think he likes going outside. WHAT? Michael lives to go outside. He often stands at our front door wiggling the door handle trying to get out. What on earth could make him not want to go out? He also started begging to go home yesterday.

The worst part was the ride home last night. He slumped down in his car seat and just sat there looking dejected. He hardly spoke, and only to answer questions I asked. He normally spends drive time pointing out traffic lights, trucks, letters, and asking me for wind (putting down the windows.) But, he just sat there like a sad little lump. He did perk up once we got home, but it took a little while. Sigh.

Things that are going well with daycare
  • He has made a friend, who seems like a very thoughtful little boy
  • He was sharing really well with the neighborhood kids last night
  • He is sitting on the potty
  • He's eaten a few things I never thought he would eat
Things that are not going well with daycare
  • He's only napping for about 45 minutes
  • He caught a cold on Friday
  • I caught a cold on Sunday
  • He cries at drop off
  • He begs to come home during the day
  • He misses grand mom
  • He seems very sad


LauraC said...

Hey Nate cries every day at drop off too. He clings to my legs and cries "mommy!!!!!" The teacher almost always has to pick him up and walk away with him.

Alex did it every day in the 1s room. Nate has done it almost every day in the 2s room. I think it's just part of day care. He stops crying 2 minutes after I leave.

As for after school, the boys have to follow so many rules and be so good all day that they often unleash the full torrent of negativity when they see me. Just think about all the things they have to do - wash hands, use manners at eating time, line up to go outside - all being so good and following rules.

Anyway I didn't want you to think it's just YOUR kid. I think this is the case for a lot of kids in structured day care. They need to know they can be sad, crazy, and out of control with you. And oh yeah, they often have days where they are just plain tired from doing stuff all day.

It will get better. It just takes time for everyone to transition.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to second a lot of what Laura said. Devin recently transitioned from in-home care to a center. The center is AWESOME! We LOVE it. Devin is excited to go every day. However, he only sleeps about an hour (opposed to his usual 2 hr naps), he has already caught a cold as well, and he is EXHAUSTED by the time I pick him up at 4. Seriously, all he wants to do is lounge around on the couch for the rest of the day. I think all of the buzz and excitement, activity, and non-stop go with other kids just wear him out! I am hoping that he will get used to it- either start napping longer or just become used to his new routine, but who knows!

Anyway Joanna, my point is that you are not alone! We always question whether what we are doing for our children is the right move or not. One of my BBC friends told me: make your decision and don't look back.

:) Karla

JenFen said...

I think Laura and Karla have given good advice. I just wanted to give you support. It will get better. I would just keep going over all the positives like a mantra and try not to focus on the negatives as they are fleeting and will pass.

I will say with Jake in preschool that 99% of the time, the kids that cry at dropoff are fine the minute mom/dad leave once they pass the adjustment period.

DesiDVM said...

The Daycare Blues...Jackson is usually really happy to go to daycare, but when I come to pick him up I always see him waiting at the window with his backpack on like he thinks I'm never coming. Also when we came back from vacation (9 days of sleeping in the bed with Mommy!) he screamed bloody murder at drop-off for almost 2 weeks. I mean laying on the ground clutching my leg while I tried to run out the door. Then suddenly, he was ok with it again.

Don't discount the sleep deprivation from a new nap arrangement. It really plays havoc with their system until they learn to nap differently -- I noticed that once J learned to nap over there, his whole disposition about day care was better.

Over time the benefits will outweigh the negatives, especially for "only" children IMO. My mom is always telling me how me and my twin sis never *needed* daycare or preschool the way our younger sister did - once we started school she was always home with Grandma and was painfully shy in new situations, which really improved once my mom put her in preschool when she was 3.

Mama Mia said...

it will get better...

Joanna said...

Well, it's good to know that my child is not the only sobbing mass of unhappy toddler at daycare drop off.

If you guys think I'm sad now, wait until you see what a mess I become the first time that Michael doesn't want to leave with me.

Deanna said...

Hugs to you, Joanna! With his shorter naps and being more tired that will also wear down his immune system and make him more prone to those colds. That should improve once he settles in to his new routine and can sleep better there. All in time.