Thursday, October 23, 2008

What? WHAT? WHAT???!!!!

I took Michael to get his hair cut last night. It's been a while because after the last cut I decided that I wanted Michael's curls to grow in. I called over to Supercuts to see if they were busy. They weren't.

Michael did great. He sat on the booster seat for the first time, and handled it like a big boy. The woman asked me what I wanted done, and I explained that I wanted the back cleaned up but to keep the curls on top. It turns out that you can only get one kind of haircut at Supercuts. Short. She did a wonderful cut, but it wasn't what I wanted. I guess now I have an excuse to not get his hair cut again for several months.

Michael was covered in hair, so I gave him a bath once we got home. Boy does he love water. I think he could play in the tub all day if I let him. However, he does need to do other things like eat and sleep, so we keep it to a minimum. I just drain the tub, and he normally gets the hint.

As he was getting ready to stand up and get out of the tub, he said, "Kiss my peanut." But he didn't say peanut. He said the appropriate term for his, um, you know.*

My mommy alarm went off, and I mean big time. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! What did he just say? Oh my god! Oh my god! No, he couldn't have just said that. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

I tried to remain calm even though I was freaking out inside. "What was that sweety?"

"Kiss my Peanut!"

Resume Oh my gods!

What is going on here? Why is my kid saying this? Oh my god! What's going on at Daycare? I'm going to have to kill someone!

Calm, must remain calm.

"Why do you want me to kiss you?"

Please let this make sense. Please, please, please.

"I sat on glasses."


"Ouch, I sat on glasses."

***light bulb goes off.***

Michael had brought his sunglasses up to the bath with him saying they were water goggles. When he had shifted to get out of the tub, he must have pinched the boys with the hinge on the glasses. I can't imagine that it felt too good, so he did what he always does when something hurts. He asked for a kiss.

Phew. That sure scared me for the all of 2 seconds it took to figure out what was going on.

*I'd say it, but I don't want to think about what kind of Google searches would lead here.


Beth said...

OMG--LOL! That is so funny. William can't stand it when I have to wipe his, um, "peanut" during a diaper change. He cries and whines, and it really makes me worry a bit for his future relationships and my potential to be a grandmother! LOL. (Thank goodness I have Seth.)

Heidi O said...

Lovely! That's a crack up. We take Max to an old school barber shop. He loves going. No booster seat there, they have him sit on a board that goes across the arms of the chair. He loves sitting with all the other guys. And they have a candy drawer that he and Maggie get to partake of.

DesiDVM said...

Ah, the joys of having a little boy -- constant upkeep on the hair, and dealing with the boy-parts LOL. I think I've related how nightmarish it is just to comb Jackson's hair. When TH takes him to the barbershop it's only a bit better; he's okay if he can sit in Daddy's lap the whole time but he refuses to sit in the barber chair.

As to the other bathtime, we sing a little song for washing: "This is the way we wash our arms, wash our arms, wash our arms, this is the way we wash our arms before we go to bed" etc. for all the body parts. Lately when we're singing Jackson feels the need to insert "peanut" for every single body part at the top of his lungs. How does he know this is funny?

Julie said...

I am laughing so hard--especially the part where you have to go kill someone!

Karla said...

Oh my goodness!!! LOL...that must have been quite an interesting few minutes in your bathroom, as well as your mind!!!

Steph said...

OMG. Too funny! Cooper's original pedi would call that area the 'basement' and we picked up on it, so whenever Cooper talks about his boy parts, he says basement. We did it to ourselves, but what a weird conversation that's going to be to explain that one.

Mama Mia said...

Let's see a pic of that haircut!

Zoey's Mommy said...

Hahaha! Sorry to laugh because I'm sure I can only imagine the kinds of things you were thinking, but that just made my day! Kind of glad I don't have a little boy right now. Although, I must admit, Zoey has been saying some pretty embarrasing things lately. Like when she asks if there's a baby in my tummy, and I say yes. And then she'll run and tell everyone that babies come out of vaginas and mommy's going to have a baby in her vagina! Or like when she thinks that every African American male is Barak Obama! This kid is going to send me to an early grave.