Thursday, January 15, 2009

I can't quite put my finger on it.

The child that my mom dropped off last evening was not the same child I delivered to her in the morning. I noticed it as soon as I went outside to get him. He didn’t have some amazing breakthrough on a milestone. In fact, I can’t even describe what was different about him, but it was there all the same.

The closest I can come is to say there was some difference in his manner that indicated a different level of maturity. He was holding himself a little differently. Maybe it was confidence, maybe it was awareness. It was as if something within him clicked and made him feel more grown-up to me.

He was sweet all evening long. No tantrums, no whining. Just a happy kid. He wasn’t interested in dinner, but sought us out in the dinning room while Andy and I ate. He didn’t disrupt us, he seemed to just want to be around us.

It was bath night, and he was initially resistant when I suggested heading up to the tub. I told him that I would get out his foam dinosaurs to play with, and he gave me a serious look, said “ok”, and headed up on his own. We played with the dinosaurs in the tub for a long time, and he really had a great time. I expected him to fight when it was time to get out, but he was completely agreeable and tried to climb out himself…which he has never done.

Back downstairs, he settled down to play trains. This is the one place I actually noticed a tangible difference. I caught it the first time, but thought I was mistaken. But, by the 5th or 6th time, I couldn’t deny it. Michael was calling me “mom”. I’m not sure what prompted that, but I have to admit, I don’t really like it. I was sad when “mama” gave way to “mommy”. To switch to “mom” so soon is harsh. I just wanted to stop him and say, “I am not mom. I am mommy and I will always be mommy.” But I didn’t think he was going to buy it. Sigh.

I’ve been thinking about it all day, trying to figure out just what is different, but I can’t explain it. I’m wondering what he’s going to be like today. Is this something permanent, or was it just a mood he was in? Whatever it is, it’s a reminder that as much as I want him to stay my little baby, he won’t. But it’s ok because I always discover that I love the next stage more than the last.


LauraC said...

No way can your boy grow up bc my babies are not growing up.

N&A were (umprompted) calling Irene's dog Mango Bango over the weekend and I thought - they're making jokes? Isn't that a boy thing?

Maria said...

THat's when you know you need another one! Kidding...sort of. It is really odd how such a momentous change is so subtle, and vice versa. I love the growing up and the sweet understanding that comes with it. And the joking. That is the BEST.

Beth said...

Awww--bittersweet indeed. Maria's onto something though. Have another and then you'll see some serious regression! LOL. You want your baby back? You'll get him! :-)

DesiDVM said...

Maybe it's a boy thing...a few weeks ago J started calling me "Mom" now and then and I really don't like it! I don't know where he got it from (I always blame daycare). But I STILL call my mom "Mommy" and I'm in my 30's, LOL.

Lindsay said...

JTC has already tried out calling me "Lindsay." WHAT???

He also went through a Mom and Dad phase, but he's slipped back into Mommy and Daddy.

Steph said...

I go through something similar every time I get back from being out of town for work and haven't seen Cooper for a few days, it's like he's grown up in super speed over the few days that I am gone. It is very bittersweet to see our babies growing up.

Deanna said...

Wow...Joanna, that's makes ME want another one! (and that ain't happenin') I bet he tries out this new phase and then regresses a little (from mom back to mommy). My mom and her brothers (I call her mom to everyone else but I call her mama...unless she irritates me, and then it's MOOOOOOM!) ....anyways...she and her siblings still call their mom "mama".