Friday, March 27, 2009

Department of Redundancy Department

I stopped at Barnes & Noble on my way home from work yesterday and purchased $50 worth of children's books for Michael. While I am an avid reader, and I do want to encourage a love of reading in Michael, this had nothing to do with that...And everything to do with my sanity.

There was a very helpful woman working in the children's section and she asked if she could help me. Normally, I'd say no. I used to manage a bookstore and one of my sections was the children's section. I know my way around pretty well. However, this time I had some very specific criteria for the books I was choosing, and I really did need a little help.

"I'm looking for some books for my son. He's almost three and he insists that I read THE SAME BOOK OVER AND OVER AGAIN before bed. I need paperback books that don't have a lot of words in them. No board books, he won't tolerate those. Paperbacks. NOT MANY WORDS. And did I say NOT MANY WORDS!"

She was very kind and instead of laughing at my Green Eggs and Ham induced hysteria, she directed me to a number of books that were perfect. She cautioned me to stay way from the Berenstein Bears and I confessed that I've already hidden one of them because it has too many words. I ended up buying every book she recommended plus a few that looked interesting to me.

When I got home, I ran up to Michael's room and removed any book with lots of words and replaced them with the new books. Diggingest Dog? Gone. Green Eggs and Ham? Gone. Thomas and Sir Topham Hatt the Patriarchal Windbag? GONE!

The real test was at bedtime. Was Michael going to notice that I've taken away his most recent stalling tactics? Was he simply going to ask me to read more than three stories to make up for the shorter books? Was I going to have to spend what feels like FIVE FREAKING HOURS READING INANE CHILDREN"S BOOKS to get him to go to bed?

Nope. It worked. I read three short books and then he let me turn out the lights. Phew. The latest stalling attempt has been thwarted and my sanity is intact...for now at least.

If only I could convince him that Diego has other episodes to watch other than the Great Baby Jaguar Rescue.

9 comments:

LauraC said...

I can't believe he won't read board books! (oh wait I can believe it, he's 2).

DesiDVM said...

Have you ever tried the Children's Book of the Month Club? I joined online a year ago and I love it; I'm pretty much addicted to ordering books almost every month. Their prices are reasonable (better than B & N) and the best feature is that they have parent reviews of all the books. I think the website is www.cbomc.com...

Jackson is pretty much over board books now, too.

Karen said...

I have read the same book 8 times today with my Michael. At least it belongs to the library....

Mama Mia said...

I go to the library by MYSELF and find great books for B. Some good ones are Dinosaur Cafe, Trucks Trucks Trucks, machines at work, I can think of a TON more, let me know if you want anymore ideas...

Mel said...

LOL at the not many words! I know exactly how you feel. I've managed to avoid Dr. Seuss so far!

Kaycee said...

HAha! Sneaky moma you are! I'm glad it worked. I hate the bigs with tons of words too!

Karla said...

Glad the book trick worked for you. Hope it holds up!

Steph said...

We are so in the same book every night rut.... even going to the library has not helped (yet). Hiding the favorite book (a Thomas book no less) results in hysterics... gotta love a toddler!

Karla said...

I so thought of you this week-end when I was reading "Green Eggs and Ham" and "One Fish Two Red Fish Blue Fish"

Ahhhhh, Why ARE his books so loooooooong?????