Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Hot and Spicy V8 Juice

Michael was a bit of a handful last night. He started off well when I picked him up from my mom’s, but the time dinner was over (which he refused to eat) he started slipping into contrary control freak mode. We had a nice fight about him taking of his sneakers, which resulted in me giving in and putting the stupid things back on, only to have them take them off five minutes later so he could climb on the sofa. I was ready to pull my hair out.

After the shoe incident, he decided to head into the kitchen and play in the fridge. He normally grabs a yogurt smoothie to drink, and that’s that. Last night he decided he wanted a can on my Hot and Spicy V-8 juice. I made the mistake of telling him he couldn’t have it, and the battle was on. He decided that he MUST have the V-8 juice.

I stopped and thought about it for a minute. I’d love if he would drink V-8 juice, so why not let him have it? Who knows, he might even like it. If not, can you imagine the look on his face after taking a swig of Hot and Spicy V-8 juice? Either way, it was a win/win situation for me. So I told him that he could have it and popped open the can.

Within five seconds, he managed to spill some down his shirt and onto the floor. I got a rag and cleaned it up. I made sure to keep my eye on him. I really wanted to see his face when he took a sip. He didn’t.

Next, he headed into the living room with it. He placed it on a coaster and walked away. Thinking he had lost interest, I decided to goad him on. I picked it up and took a sip. He did not like that. He walked over, took it from my hand and placed it back on the coaster. I took another sip. He took it from me and held onto it.

He spent the next 15 minutes walking around the living room with the can while I followed him with the rag. Several times I thought he was going to take a sip, but he would put the can back down. I was desperate to see his reaction to drinking the Hot and Spicy V-8, but he never did drink it. He finally gave up and took it back to the refrigerator.

I was disappointed.

So, let’s replay this from Michael’s perspective.

Hmm, I managed to drive mommy crazy with the whole sneaker thing. What should I do next? I know, the refrigerator!

“Michael, do you want some yogurt?”

Darn, that’s not the reaction I wanted. Hey, what’s this? It looks like those soda cans I’m not allowed to have.

“I don’t think you are going to like that.”

Oh, there we go, that’s the reaction I was looking for.
“Let me open that for you.”

Yeah, go ahead, you do that. Let’s see what she’ll do if I spill some. Sweet! She had to get a rag. I should twist a little to make it harder for her to clean me up.

Dude, why am I standing in the kitchen? Mommy get’s much twitchier if I go in the living room where there is carpet.

Ha, watch this. I’ll put it on the coaster and make her think I’m being good. Oh Score! She just drank some of that crap! Let’s see if I can get her to do it again. Yes!

Hmm, keeping it on the coaster isn’t making her squirm as much. I’ll pick it up and carry it around over the carpet. Yeah, there we go. Look at mommy move.

OK, she’s watching now, I’ll hold it up to my mouth and see what she does. Dude, she’s totally watching me waiting to see me drink this stuff. What a loon. Let’s try that again. Sweet, she really thinks I’m going to do it. Will it work again?

Darn, she’s starting to look a little too twitchy. Time to change tactics. I’ll put this back in the fridge and see what else I can drive her batty with.

Is it crazy to think I had just been played by my 2.75 year old?

Little Stinker.


LauraC said...

Here's what I learned in toddler fight club:

Don't fight the 2.75 year old. You will lose.

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

I laughed so hard when I read this. I think that you may have an insight into the way a 2 year old thinks. My Michael's newest thing to say when I tell him he can't do something is to say "I have to". I wonder where he gets that from......