Thursday, May 7, 2009

Michael's Summer Acedemy: Course Description

This summer, Michael will be teaching a series of courses for three year olds. The first class in the series will be: Bed Time Stalling 201

Course Requirements:

Student must show competency in two year old stalling techniques such as: Screaming and crying, binky and/or Lovey tossing, and slithering out of your parents arms.

Course description:

This course will focus on incorporating new stalling techniques into the three year old arsenal. We will explore ways in which hygiene and bodily functions can be used to delay impending betimes. Strategies include the classic "I have to go potty" approach to the more subtle "I need to brush my teeth" tactic. We will also explore ways to elevate the screaming and crying approach into begging and pleading about "needs" and ways to block the "that's really a want" defense. Special emphasis will be placed on the highly effective method of "Just One More" with considerable discussion on the bundling of multiple "one mores"- such as books, songs, and kisses - into a significantly delayed lights out. The final class will be a brain storming session looking at ways to counter "Just Go To Bed" without causing blood pressure related complications in your parents.

Recommended:

This class is recommend for any child that is interested in delaying their bedtime or is looking for new and exciting ways to drive their parents insane.

Class specifics:

This class will be held online every Thursday night at 7:30 pm. Access to the internet is required. Please contact the school for directions on how to commandeer your parent's iPhone or Laptop.

9 comments:

Beth said...

LMAO! Are you sure Michael hasn't already taught that class? 'Cause I think William must have taken it. You are freakin' hysterical!!!

LauraC said...

I think Nate already has a PhD on this. But I'm sure he'd love to hear all the other classes that are offered!

Stacey said...

Will he accommodate for students who are gifted in this subject area?

London said...

haha!

Joanna said...

Yes! Interest from potential guest lecturers. Michael will be thrilled!

Karla said...

LOL!!!

Mel said...

A already aced that course. And she knows how to commandeer my iPhone. You mean Michael has not figured out how to surf you tube on your iPhone yet?

Julie said...

Awesome!

JenFen said...

Jadyn is pretty well skilled in this area but I am sure she would love to learn a few new tricks and consprire with others to make sure us mommies have no hair left to pull out. LOL!