I've been having some weird dreams recently. Well, weirder than normal. Dreams do tend to be pretty weird in general.
It's not uncommon for me to have what I call anxiety dreams. They typically involve things like being late to work or forgetting my locker combination. I find the high schools ones to be the funniest. I'll be sitting in class when I realize that I've forgotten my homework and I start to panic. But then, as I start to wake up reality starts to sink into the dream. So, I'll be sitting in a high school class worried about getting trouble for not having my homework one moment, and the next I'm trying to figure out why I'm in high school if I have my Masters Degree. When I wake up I thank goodness that I'm not in high school any more.
The other night I had what seemed to start out as an anxiety dream. Somehow, I ended up on American Idol and I was about to go on stage. Not only was I concerned that I can't sing, I didn't even know the words of the song. I started to freak out. But somehow, I managed to make it through the cut and we moved onto the next song. This is where it got really weird. I knew the words to the song. Considering I can't remember the words to songs while I'm awake, this was really amazing. Even more amazing, when I started to sing, my voice was incredible. It was really exhilarating. When I woke up, I felt really good.
I have no idea where that dream came from. I've never watched American Idol, and it's barely on my radar. I do, however, know where the dream I had last night came from.
In last night's dream, I learned that I was pregnant. This was not a good thing. Not only do I not want to be pregnant, I also take a class C medication and getting pregnant while on the medication could be harmful to the fetus. I was terribly upset, concerned, hysterical...you name it. Andy and I were going back and forth over what we should do and how this was going to turn our lives upside down, and what if there is something wrong with the baby, and, and and... Talk about anxiety.
So, in the dream, we decided to put one concern to rest and have them check the baby out with an ultrasound. When the images started popping up on the screen we discovered that there were TWO babies. I was having twins! OH. MY. GOD. I freaked out and made them check again and again just to make sure that they were right. Each time, we saw the same thing. Two babies.
The end of the dream was actually the worst part. I asked Andy what we were going to do about it, and he just smiled and said, "We are going to have twins." Like it was no big deal. That shock woke me right up. It's slightly possible that I could get pregnant, it's even remotely possible that I could get pregnant with twins. But there is no way in hell that Andy wouldn't be freaking out more than me.
It was an interesting dream to have. I'm pretty sure that it was the result of reading Laura's post about twins and singletons. I'll never really understand what it was like for Laura and Jon to learn that they were having twins, but based on the dream I had last night, I can imagine that it was a pretty shocking experience.
While I was very relieved to wake up and realize that it was just a dream, I will confess that a tiny part of me was a little sad too. Thanks to Laura, I know that raising twins isn't a piece of cake, but I also know that it's totally worth it.