Monday, July 27, 2009

Michael's Grand Conspiracy to Drive Me Insane

Quite a few years back, I owned an old Honda Accord. It was a great car, but at 10 years I knew that it wouldn't hold up forever so I started saving for a new car. Every time I would start accumulating enough money for a down payment, the car would break down. The annoying part of it was that the more money I had saved, the more the repairs cost. It was like my car knew that I was trying to replace it, and it would breakdown so that I would have to use the down payment money. I know it was just an annoying coincidence, but it still drove me crazy.

On Friday night we made a big to do about Michael completing his potty chart. We went out to dinner and then took him to Toys R Us to pick out a reward toy. My intention was to draw the connection between potty behavior and rewards. We had no plans for Sunday, so I was going to bribe Michael into a pair of underwear and see how things went.

Michael woke up in a miserable mood on Saturday. After several weeks of really easy going, agreeable behavior, he turned into a monster over night. He was fighting everything, including things that didn't even make sense. He would get upset even if I agreed with him. It made for a very long morning.

We went to a birthday party in the afternoon and things started to look up, so I was still planning on the booty camp. Then, about half an hour before bed, Michael told me his stomach hurt and preceded to throw up all over me. I cleaned both of us, and the carpet, and then waited for a little while to see if there was a second round. It was getting late, so I finally took him up to bed and he threw up on both of us (and Larry the mama snake.) After cleaning up again, Andy and I decided to keep him up for a while longer to make sure he was done. He was about two hours late getting to bed.

I was still optimistic about booty camp until Michael woke up on Sunday morning. Folks, I swear, it's like he knew what I was planning to do. He was so difficult about every little thing that I knew there was no way he was going to allow me to put underwear on him. I did get them out, and I did talk to him about it...

The idea was not well received. At all. Period. End of story. In fact, no you can't even change my diaper lady. I'll sit here in poop before I let you come near me even thinking about underwear.

That's fine by me! But don't expect to get that Glodoodle you want anytime soon. I'm the one that controls the credit card around here. No underwear, no Glodoodle. *blowing raspberry and sounding petulant*

Please excuse me while I go off in a corner and sulk for a while...

Stupid potty training...stupid underwear...Humf...who cares about potty training anyway...

6 comments:

Beth said...

LOL Joanna! You know Michael will get there--but only on HIS terms! Still, a girl's gotta dream, right? You gotta enroll him in school--I swear that peer pressure makes a huge difference! Of course, Michael is definitely his own person. Peer pressure might not sway him one bit.

Maria said...

Holy Cow! That sounds like quite a morning, er, weekend! Good luck with all things potty.

Mel said...

Oh my goodness, these 3 year olds can be cantankerous at best! Good luck, and I'm sure Michael will come around on his terms.

Stacey said...

Sorry you had a rough weekend!

Having a potty-trained kid is kind of overrated. It's sometimes messy and often stressful.

He'll be completely potty-trained right when you least expect it.

Karen said...

I admire your determination to go through with booty camp!

I agree with Stacey that he will potty-train when you least expect it. That's exactly what happened here!!

Julie said...

It sounds like Michael was out of sorts, with the tummy ache and bad attitude. I never ever try new things when Lana is especially difficult. I wait for the sweet, agreeable Lana to return and she is usually more receptive to change.