Thursday, October 1, 2009

Thoughts on being a mature mom

There was a moment, during my recent blogging mommy trip to NYC, when a horrible realization came to me. I was the oldest mommy in the group. The OLDEST.

The media tends to be polite when referring to older moms. They like to call us mature moms. I guess it’s a politically correct euphemism, but it’s not very accurate. I may have been the oldest mom of the group, but I certainly wasn’t the most mature. I mean really, I still giggle uncontrollably every time Michael toots. I can just picture his first day of Kindergarten. He’ll let out a little toot and look around for laughter, only to be met by most of the other kids, and the teacher looking at him like he’s gross. No, mature I am not.

Older, well yes, I am that.

It’s can be a strange thing to be an older mom. I don’t feel older. In my mind, I’m still 27. I have no problem climbing on jungle gyms or picking Michael up and power bombing him onto the sofa. I’m probably a little calmer then I was 10 years ago, but since that’s a benefit, I don’t really notice very often. Overall, I don’t really notice any difference between me younger moms. (Funny, calling younger moms “less mature” doesn’t sound as nice as calling older moms “mature,” does it?”

But, then I go and do crazy things like look in the mirror and it becomes pretty obvious that I am an older mom. And, you know what? It sort of sucks.

I remember what it was like to go bra shopping when I was 23. I’d got to Victoria’s Secret and look for the cutest bra and panty sets I could find. I could wear any style bra. All I needed to do was find my size and pay for it. Bra shopping now that I’m closer to 40 than 35 is a very different experience. I don’t shop at VS anymore. Instead, I hit Kohl’s because they have a large selection. I walk around looking at the different styles. Will this one itch? Does this one provide enough support? Will this one keep my boobs from squishing out under my armpits? Once I have a few picked out, I try them all on to see if any of them make me look like I have 23 year old boobs again. In the end, I settle for the one that keeps everything right where it’s supposed to be. It’s never cute.

This week I finally addressed another area that I have been in denial about. My skin. I do not have 23 year old skin anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, the $9 Maybelline foundation and powder I have been using just doesn’t provide the coverage I need it to anymore. I pulled out the $12 Revlon foundation and tried it out. Nope. Then I pulled out the $10 Neutrogena foundation I had bought a while back. It didn’t cut it either. I was not happy.

I knew what I needed to do. I needed to head to the mall and do something I’ve been putting off for several years. I needed to go to MAC and get some help. I’ve joked that the reason I haven’t done this is because I know that buying MAC foundation is the same as buying the oval Thomas and Friends set. The extra money for the Oval set is no big deal. But then, you have to buy an extra Spencer. Next you need a track expansion pack. Then one day you realized you have dumped several hundred dollars into these stupid little trains, and you don’t even have the train table yet. I just know that buying MAC foundation will lead to buying MAC powder, then MAC blush, MAC lipstick, MAC eye shadow. And that still doesn’t even address the fact that none of that stuff comes with brushes.

However, that was really only a joke to cover up the real reason I hadn’t gone to the MAC store yet. The real reason was that I didn’t want to walk in and have to confess to a very stylish, 22 year old that I need makeup that will actually cover up the age spots that are starting to show up on my face*. And maybe helps downplay the crow’s feet. And balance out the uneven tones. And…

I just didn’t want to do that.

But I did.

And it was expensive.

It was also totally worth it.

That’s one good thing about being a mature mom is that I have an established career and I can afford to pay a little extra to hide some of the flaws that age has produced. And, as long as I don’t look in the mirror, I still feel like a less mature mommy.

*Another good reason to wear sunscreen ladies. Even if you don’t get skin cancer, age spots suck too.


Deanna said...

I'm turning 30 in two months, but my hubby is 18 years older than I am, so it's interesting to try to find the regime for both my skin and his (because you KNOW that he isn't out there shopping for the proper skin products). I will tell you the best product I have found for both of's the Clarisonic. I kid you not. It has taken wrinkled off of Hubster's face that I didn't know could come off and has completely changed his skin texture - and we saw obvious differences in one's now 4 weeks later. He is obsessed with using it every night (and he's a manly man and would never ever admit this). I've seen it even out my skin texture and my all-powder make-up now looks much smoother - and still looks good at the end of the day.

As for bras...still at a 36D a year after the baby was born(or DD depending on the bra) I was desperate for something to hold them UP. Fredericks of Hollywood. Love 'em! I never would have believed it but I have a friend at work who convinced me and she was right!

My next favorite product is Sally Hansen bikini wax but I'll leave it at that. It works better with a margarita (or 2).

Lindsay said...

See, I'm scared to go back to the MAC counter now that I'm 30-something. They were cool with the "old" set? Good to know.

Deanna - where do you get Clarisonic?

Mel said...

I'm probably only 3 or 4 years less mature than you and I have been wearing full coverage for awhile now. I've been using Clinique dewy smooth anti-aging makeup with SPF 15. It is a nice full coverage and goes on really soft and smooth. I think I pay about $20 a bottle for this stuff. I have never looked into MAC, so I don't know how it compares, but just thought I would throw out the recommendation in case you do want to compare.

And the other good thing about Clinique is they have these bonus weeks once a season or so where you get a bunch of free stuff with a $17.50 purchase, so if I just buy the makeup I can also get free lipstick, mascara, moisturizer, eye shadow, etc. etc!

Karen said...

I feel the same way as Lindsay about the MAC counter. It's at the entrance of a dept store here and I feel like the girls are looking at me like I'm old.

LauraC said...

I'm hitting up MAC as soon as I am 100% pale as my kicking cancer's ass present.

Also bc my first agespot showed up on my hand this summer. And you're not the oldest by much, CRAZY.

I met a guy at Chick-fil-A tonight who had his 3.5 year old at 46. He's 40 now and said he wants another kid but everyone assumes his son is his grandson. ANd he's too tired to have another newborn.

Steph said...

I was laughing out loud about the Thomas analogy, because that's exactly how it started here too.

I have been a Clinique devotee in the past, but lately have not put much effort into any of it, so maybe I need to head to MAC!

*Kc* said...

Oh Joanna! I love that you tell it like it is. I'm that 23 year old that goes into VS looking for the cutest bra, however, I need some support too because I had babies SO young and they didn't bounce back. BOO!!

Does Kohls have good bras? Maybe I need to check them out.

I am in LOVE with MAC!!! I've worn it for 6 years now and it covers all of my red blotches. Glad you got some. You'll love it and you will go back for every product they have. lol!!

Deanna said...

I got my Clarisonic through Sephora on-line because they had a package deal that came with two face brushes, one body brush (mucho bueno), and some trial sizes of Philosophy stuff...and I had a gift card that I earned from my Discover card. Otherwise I was going to get one off Ebay. I hate to sound like a broken record, but it's been worth every penny.

Heidi O said...

I don't bother with vs either. Haven't in a while. I go straight to the lingerie places at jc penny, or macy's. Where the old broads go. I need an over the shoulder boulder holder especially good one right now that I am breastfeeding.

Julie said...

I am so jealous that you even HAD a time in your life where you could go to VS and buy bras. I have never been able to buy them there b/c they don't sell very many in 32A and even the ones they had didn't fit quite right. Now I buy bras in the little girls department b/c my boobs shrank after Lana. Maidenform makes a great 32AA (sad, but true)and I can even get them with princess crowns or hearts. Pathetic!! Just think, it could be worse than shopping at a dept store--at least you have boobs!

As for the MAC makeup--I think its a luxury to buy nice makeup, a treat really. I too was curious how the MAC chickadees treat a non-20 year old.