Tuesday, January 5, 2010

My Un-Resolution

First things first: Michael did great at his first day of drop off. I managed to get out the door without any tears. Michael didn't cry either. He was cute, on the ride over I heard him opening his lunchbox to check and see what I had packed him.

Ok, now on to me.

I'm not a big fan of resolutions, but last year I decided to set a weight loss goal. Which I reached. Yay! And then crashed and burned by gaining back more than I lost. Boo!

I've been exercising and eating responsibly for about 10 years, so I didn't really need to make any changes to stick to my goals. In fact, I did stick to my exercise plan and even started running last year. I'm very proud of that, and I'm excited to start running again when it warms up.

Over the past few weeks I've been looking back to figure out what went wrong. Beyond the obvious problem of eating too much. I needed to figure out why I was eating too much. So, I looked at my exercise and weight tracking for the year and noticed when I started putting on the pounds again. It was in the late summer. Right about the same time that my mom learned that she needed to have surgery. You know, when I had to figure out child care for Michael for an undetermined amount of time. Also, about the same time that I started eating two bags of Synder's sourdough pretzels every day with my lunch (at about 500 calories!)

I've also been reading "Raising Your Spirited Child". As I mentioned yesterday, Michael isn't the easiest kid out there, so I picked up the book hoping to get more ideas on how to motivate Michael while limiting threats and punishments. The premise of the book is that spirited kids have a certain mix of temperamental attributes that can make them challenging. I went through all nine attributes and it identified Michael as a borderline spirited child. Then, it had me go back and see how I rate. Um... It turns out I'm a spirited adult.

Ok, I already knew that, but it was just the reminder that I needed right now. You would think standing in the hallway of my mom's apartment building with tears running down my face would have clued me into how stressed out I was, but I think I was too stressed to deal with it at the time. But, looking back over the past few months I've had to deal with a lot of change; which I hate. My mom was also very stressed out and depressed; which my overly sensitive self was picking up and feeding into my own stress. To add to the problem, I wasn't using Andy or my friends to help me deal with my problems; I was trying to do it by myself. Turns out, I didn't do a very good job.

I considered setting the goal to handle stress better this year, but I decided that would just stress me out, so to try and reach my goal, I'm not setting a goal. To reach this goal that I haven't set for myself, I'm going to need to learn how to handle my spirited self a little better. I have no idea how I'm going to do that. A few things that I've considered are: getting my hair dyed back to close to my natural color so I don't have to do root maintenance, giving up my farm on Farmville, work harder at getting enough sleep, and sucking it up and leaning on my support network when I need to.

I have no idea how well I'll do, but I really do need to make some changes and chill out a little. So wish me luck on my resolution that I refuse to make.

10 comments:

LauraC said...

Definition of contrary: not having a goal but blogging about said non-goal and ways to reach the non-goal.

Oh I kill me with my witty comments on your blog!!

What I've found is that focusing my time and energy of the things that bring positive to my life means giving up the things that do not bring positive. What does Farmville bring? What does time reading a book bring? That's how I resolved to live my life after getting the crap scared out of me that I might get serious melanoma and die.

Obviously in the meantime,I dealt with the stress with red wine and chocolate :)

Mel said...

I just bought the Kindle Edition of that book. I read another book on Strong-willed children, but did not like it. I'm hoping to find one that I like.

London said...

I don't have anything clever or witty to say like Laura, but I just wanted to say "good luck!"

I have terrible junk food habits that I'm trying desperately to break before my 20-something metabolism gives out on me and it is HARD!

Steph said...

rI wish I had some great tips on this, but I don't. I'm a stress eater. I like Laura's idea of wine and chocolate, although I have to put off the wine until May.

Stacey said...

Uh, I am starting to realize why our boys are so much alike...

Good luck! You can do it!

Maria said...

The whole leaning on and or using the support system is a hard one. I think a lot of us struggle with it. For some reason we feel like we should be able to do it all, but would never expect anyone else to. I am right there with you on that. Good luck with your non resoloution. I have a few myself...

JenFen said...

I have found that this blog community that we have created is a great support system and sometimes for me, it is easier to admit that I need help in this form than IRL so lean, lean, lean. We are here!

Secondly, for some reason I am really good at admitting when I need "me" time and to some it may seem selfish but I truly believe it makes me better in all other aspects of my life - a better friend, a better, wife and definitely a better mother so try to remember that as you work to eliminate stress.

I wish you all the luck in the world on your un-goal. And I am glad to hear that Michael's first day of drop off went well.

Beth said...

You are very self-actualized for a "high-spirited" person! Admitting the problem (or knowing it, anyway) is half the battle, right? I have faith in you that you will make the positive changes you need this year. In the meantime, keep blogging. You're inspiring!

Karen said...

I agree with JenFen about the blog community being a good support outlet. I think that I am more likely to write things down and tell people that I am not seeing face to face to get feedback that I wouldn't do in person. It's easy to get caught up in the stress. I try to step away from the problem and calm down a little bit, which doesn't always work.

-Bridget said...

I'm looking into that book, pronto. So glad to hear first day at daycare went well. They seem to have magic powers there that I don't, I still haven't learned to tap into that.