Thursday, June 10, 2010

Whisper Down the Line

Disclaimer: This post relates to a news story that was presented on last night's local news. The event was a school bus driver driving her bus while drunk. There is nothing funny about this. I am vehemently against drinking and driving (as the guy I physically restrained from getting into his car drunk back in college will attest.) The irreverent attitude displayed in this post is the result of abysmal reporting on such a serious matter.

After dinner last night we spent a little time goofing around in the living room with the Local News on in the background. The quality of the reporting was so bad that we had trouble following the story. The first thing we heard was that a bus driver from Brookhaven was arrested for drinking and driving. Andy grew up in that town, and I lived there for a few years, so we both responded, "Of course she was from Brook Haven!"

Next, they mentioned that her blood alcohol level was 19 times over the legal limit for bus drivers. Andy suggested at anything over 0.0 is too high, so 1 times or 19 times is really irrelevant. Of course, at this point they still haven't made it clear if she was even driving a school bus at the time, so we weren't sure how serious the issue was. I mean really, how bad is a report like this if you don't even know if a school bus was involved?

They finally mentioned that yes, she was driving a bus. Andy and I were talking at the TV wondering if their were any children on board. You know, that might be a slightly important aspect of the story and they might want to get around to that detail sooner rather than later.

Finally, they get around to saying, "Once the bus was pulled over, one student emerged from the bus shaken, but not..." Andy and I were already poking fun at the horrible reporting so the word "stirred" flowed naturally from each of our mouths. I guess James Bond really has become part of the American psyche. We got a giggle out of Jinxing ourselves while being relieved that the real statement was "shaken, but not harmed."

I know, cheesy. You probably had to be there.

What was funny is that Michael misheard what we had said, but our laughter encouraged him to join in. So the next thing we know, Michael is walking around shaking his hands and singing, "I'm shaking the mustard, I'm shaking the mustard." Andy and I busted up, which just encouraged the new song and dance on.

So, that is how a drunk driving bus driver lead to the new "shaking the mustard" dance craze.


Beth said...

I totally get the humor of watching local news. Ed and I were absentmindedly watching the news one night when they reported on an attack. When it came time to describe the suspect, the anchor said, "The suspect is 3-foot-11 and was wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt." Ed and I both busted out laughing. Clearly, no violent crime is funny, and midgets aren't funny, either. But it just caught us both off guard and we couldn't stop laughing. Inappropriate humor is great sometimes. But I have to admit that Michael's interpretation of "shaken, not stirred" is even funnier!

MyWorld said...

I was right with you on the shaken but not stirred comments myself.