Friday, February 4, 2011

40-1

Yep, It's my birthday today and I am 39. Someone asked me if I feel any different today than I did yesterday. Nope, I feel just as old today as I felt yesterday.

So, what's with the 40-1? Well, that's my way of dealing with the impending big 40. I don't want it to sneak up on me next year and take me by surprise, so last year I decided to think of my age in terms of "40" to desensitize myself to it. So far, I think it's working, but I won't really know for another year. I'll be sure to update you all about how successful it is.

I know that I'm older than most of ya'll. I've been the oldest at both of the May Mommy get togethers. Since I'm the senior member of the group, I think it's my duty to blaze my way into aging in a graceful manner and to share all of my wonderful secrets on handling the challenges of being "older than dirt". For this reason, I have decided that I will periodically impart some of the wisdom I have gained in my advanced years so that you too can enter your later years with grace and dignity. Here are a few tips that I've picked up in my 39 years.

  • When a doctor starts a diagnosis with, "As we age," it is best to refrain from telling him to stuff it.
  • If you have ever been judgmental about women who have cosmetic procedures to improve their looks, you will likely feel guilty as you stand in front of the mirror pulling your skin back trying to see what you would look like with a face lift.
  • Your knees normally feel like they are at least ten years older than the rest of your body.
  • Getting zits at the same time that you are trying to treat very dry skin means you are getting much closer to menopause than puberty, and the two are fighting for rights to your skin.
  • Those crazy eyebrow hairs that you see on old men are not exclusive to old men.
  • And finally, mom jeans were designed that way for a reason.
Anyway, Happy Birthday to me!

Now, get off my damn lawn.

10 comments:

London said...

How did I not know today was your birthday?? Oh right, because you're not one of those annoying people who posts every day on their blog a countdown until thier birthday (27 days!!!)

Happy Birthday I <3 you.

Don't owrry next on my countdown list is Warrior Dash New England!

Janna said...

Happy Happy Birthday Joanna!
Thank you for always making me laugh :)
Much Love, Janna

Maria said...

Happy birthday! I cannot believe I didn't know it was today! I thought it was in March for some reason! Happy happy day to my funniest, snarkiest, warrior dashing friend!

Julie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Love your post--you are so hilarious!! Have a great day Joanna, you deserve it :)

Mel said...

Happy birthday to you!! This year I am trying to decide if I am in the mid or late 30's. I'm going with mid, since I am 36. You are blazing the way to 40 in complete style, and with an awesome sense of humor!

Steph said...

Happy Birthday oldie! :) Love ya!

Lindsay said...

Happy Happy Birthday, Joanna! Hope your boys are good to you tonight. =)

Kara said...

Happy Birthday!!

JenFen said...

Happy birthday Joanna! Love you girl!

DesiDVM said...

Happy belated birthday! This was a great post. You're a Grumpy Old Broad. LOL.