Friday, August 5, 2011

Sh*t my kid says

One of the fun parts of being a parent is listening to some of the things that kids say. Even simple mispronunciations or incorrect names can linger for years, like my mom still calling blue jeans "pockets" 40 years after my brother made that mistake.

Michel has never had a lot of mispronunciations. My favorite was when he called "dinosaurs" by the very appropriate "Dinoroars." I was sad that it only stuck around for a few weeks.

As he gets older and his thought process gets more complex, he's coming up with some very interesting questions. These are certainly going to stand out more in my memory than his few mispronunciations.

Some recent discussions:

Michael: Mommy, Did I pee when I was in your tummy?

Me: Yes


Michael: Mommy, how did I get into your tummy?

Me: It's time to cross the road. Please hold my hand. Did you have fun at the beach?


Michael: Mommy, today we learned that stars can explode. Is the sun going to explode?

Me: Wait, what? Ah, let's see. Yes, the sun will eventually explode. But, it won't be for billions of years. That's a very, very long time from now.


Michael: Mommy, when the sun explodes in five billion years will Santa Claus die?

Me: Um...Um...Ah...

Me in my head: WTF? How do I answer that one? Santa isn't real, but we are pretending he's real, so how do I answer this so that I don't give away that Santa isn't real, but without upsetting Michael?

Me: Yes, Santa will die.

Me in my head: PARENTING FAIL!


Michael: How does Santa know what everyone is doing?

Me: How do you think Santa knows?

Michael: I think he has a thousand computers that he uses.

Me: Yeah, Santa is like a super hacker!

Me in my head: I'd better work on the "Don't ruin Santa for other kids" lecture.


Me: (After Michael pushed over my neighbor's toddler) Time out! Now!

Me three minutes later: Now you need to go and apologize to M.

Michael: Mom, he's just a baby. He won't even understand me.

Me in my head: Well, he's got a point there...

Me out loud: Then go apologize to his mother!

Me in my head: I am so screwed.


Stacey said...

I love these, especially the last one.

Cole just asked me about peeing when he was inside of me too with the same follow-up question which was "answered" in just about the same way.

Mel said...

Michael is very precocious!

Glad to see your blog post. I missed reading!

Angela said...

That was a great read Joanna. :-)