I have a problem keeping hair stylists. I go through one every year or two. A few of them have left their salons, but most of them I have left. I finally came to the conclusion that maybe the problem wasn't with the stylists, but with me. One or two bad ones, possible. Every single one of them? Yeah, that's probably me.
My biggest problem is that I do not know how to ask for what I want when I get my hair cut. In fact, it's probably fair to say that half the time I don't even know what I want. I just want the stylist to read my mind and give me an amazing hair cut that I love, even though my hair is too fine for most of my dream haircuts. It's not reasonable to assume that a stylist can do for me what I cannot even express.
I've been working harder at trying to explain what I want and I've found a stylist that I really like. For once, I've found someone that doesn't cut my hair too short when I explain that I'm trying to let my hair grow out so I can put it in a pony tail when I run. She takes time before each cut to make sure she understands what I'm looking for and I've been very happy with the job she's done.
Toward the end of my last haircut, she asked me if I've ever thought about coloring my hair. I explained that I had just finally grown out the last of the hair color and was looking to keep my hair natural. "Well maybe you could just make it look a little deeper?"
Ugh. So not what I needed. I have a lovely shade of mouse brown hair, and there is nothing wrong with that. Coloring my hair is expensive, time consuming, damaging, and time and again I end up spending a year or so growing out dry, brassy hair. Why would I go down that path AGAIN?
I swear up and down that I'm committed to my natural color. I want to set an example that you don't need to have a model's head of hair to be a kick-ass project manager, wife, or mom. Could my hair look better? Probably, but why? Why isn't my hair good enough the way it is?
That's when I start getting wishy washy. I see myself in the mirror and think, wow, maybe it would look better if I just added some depth to my color. Maybe she's right. What's wrong with wanting to look pretty? Maybe I should...
Then, I stopped myself. I've been through this before. I know where this ends up. I end up spending a lot of money only to discover once again that I never like my hair better when it's color. I always end up growing it out again. Also, if I'm going to set a good example, then I just need to embrace the mousy hair and own it.
I admit, it's hard to stick to my guns. It's hard to overcome the societal pressure to fight to look young and attractive for as long as I can. It's hard to accept the fact that I could look better.
But, I turned down the suggestion that I color my hair. My stylist's response?
"Well, at least it's not gray!"
Cause, you know, I look old enough to be getting gray by now, right?